Benefits of Lyme???

Yup I said it: there are benefits of having lyme or other chronic illness. 

I am a trained scientist.  I spent 8 years getting my bachelor's and master's degree in environmental science.  I was lucky enough to manage to work in the field for 3 years before I was no longer able to continue.  Being a scientist does not leave much room for creativity -- it is certainly a very cerebral profession.  Unfortunately with brain damage comes the inevitable difficulty of thinking about everything!  Making decisions about what you plan to eat for breakfast feels like a major life decision.  Luckily for me, I have always had an artistic side.  However, early in high school I abandoned my creativity for the pursuit of science: I felt like I wasn't able to do both. 

Every once in a great blue moon over the years, I would start working on something creative but just as quickly I would quit.  Once I was no longer able to work because of the lyme, however, I began to feel that I lacked a purpose.  Feeling like you have no purpose in life might as well be a death sentance.  It threw me into a severe depression.  I was no longer able to make simple decisions.  The confident, independent person I was, suddenly became dependent on everyone for everything.  I truly mean everything since I became essentially bedridden for 2 months of my life.  Even once I began to get somewhat better, I was still reliant on people cooking my meals, driving me where I needed to go, making my phone calls, doing my chores, etc.  I needed an outlet.  I wasn't able to read (imagine, going to school for 8 years and realizing you can't read) so that was out of the question and the only thing I was doing was watching tv and spiraling downward. 

One day, I got back into making jewelry during those moments when I was feeling decent.  It was one of the creative outlets I would start many years ago, and just as quickly quit.  Then I started sewing again and making handbags; candles were soon to follow.  I was finally able to tap back into my creative side; a part of me that undoubtedly I likely would never have fully embraced had I not gotten sick.  I feel like I have purpose again.  It's not the same as having a regular job and it's not something I am able to do regularly, but it's an outlet that I truly enjoy and would have completely forgotten about.  I've been crafting since June and am looking forward to what new and fun things I can come up with.

So my advice to anyone who is in a depression due to being ill is to embrace something that at some point you enjoyed and maybe forgot about or better yet, find something new you think you might enjoy!  Do something crafty or artsy, be creative in the kitchen, start a blog....do something that makes you feel useful again!  It will make you feel so much better about yourself, and who knows, maybe it will lead to a brand new passion and possibly a new career once you are ready to get back to work.

T